Firstly I’m no expert, but I wanted to share my experience planning a wedding, being part of a bridal party and helping out my friends with wedding planning as well as some hot tips from you guys (thanks for the messages!)
We got married in 2015 and it was a total blast, I don’t regret anything but there are a few small changes I would make to make the day more ‘us’. A wedding is a celebration of your relationship and can have different meanings for each couple but from an event perspective as long as you have good food and good company, the rest is all details! First up, remember it’s about the two of you! Who you want to invite and share the day with, what theme/style you both want- remember to make the day a day to celebrate the both of you in a way that reflects your personalities and relationship. If you want a simple ceremony with fish and chips on the beach...go for it! Don’t worry about old Aunt Sally getting sand in her shoes 1) she will survive. 2) if she’s that much of a dick you probably shouldn’t invite her. 3) she may actually have a good time -if she’s invited! Invitations: this can be a tricky one, especially if parents are paying some $$$ towards the wedding. We made it very clear right from the start that we were only going to invite people with whom we had constant contact with. We received a lot of support from everyone for this however as the time for invites came we received a bit of flack from extended family (when other members weren’t invited), we just referred them to our original message about those who we had constant contact with. I really stood my ground on this as I believed that paying for and sharing your day with someone ‘just because they were family’ made no sense at all. We wanted to celebrate with the ones we spend time with and that’s what we did! Another great piece of advice I was given was think carefully about work colleagues, it’s hard not to invite everyone at work because at the time they are so involved but when you look back in 20years will you still be working there or friends with them? You will know what feels right but definitely have a discussion with your other half about whom you want to celebrate with! The dress: I’m a huge fan of one dress for the whole wedding - but you do you boo! If you want two / three / five dresses that’s up to you! I 100% recommend trying dresses on to see what suits you body shape...don’t dismiss something on the rack until you have tried it on, as you never know what will be the perfect fit. I also recommend for your first time trying on dresses don’t take the whole bridal party! Just go with someone you trust (Mum, aunty, friend) as the first try on session is not always successful and can be disheartening with lots of opinions...of course the first dress that you try might be absolutely perfect and in that case that’s totally awesome! Food: We paid a lot for food and I mean A LOT. My eyes still water at the price tag! And you know what....I literally would have been happy with a pizza table! Our venue was a restaurant/vineyard so we had no option as they were the only ones able to cater. In hindsight we probably should have looked at other venues but this seemed easier at the time (and there weren’t the huge about of venues and food trucks that are available today). One thing to consider is how much effort you have to put in. We did no prep, no cooking, no cleaning. Everything was set out, served and cleaned away which was amazing. I think finding a happy medium is the key. Yummy food, with minimal prep and cleaning (you don’t really want someone walking around with big black rubbish bags on your wedding day do you?!) This also brings me to the cake situation, anything with the word ‘wedding’ in front of it costs 5x more! I was quoted $1000 for a relatively simply wedding cake (face palm). Luckily for those of you getting married soon, naked cakes are still on trend. Thankfully my mum is the bomb dot com and made our beautiful cake, we were so lucky. If you have talented friends and family use them...better still use a few of them. One of the best ideas I have ever heard for a wedding was someone who asked five of her friends to make a cake- she gave them colour theme and a little bit of direction and then this made up a cake table. Five cakes, all different but matching, different flavours made by five friends, how flipping cool is that?! Numbers: Don’t worry about the numbers. If you wanted 80 but there’s 82 or 79 so be it, as long as those you wish to be there are invited that’s all that matters. We had an even number of guests and on the day one person couldn’t make it and you know what....the uneven seats at the table didn’t matter. It was a shame they couldn’t come but it is what it is and the ‘numbers’ thing didn’t matter. This also goes for bridal parties. If your hubby to be has two besties and you have six, making up numbers can be hard (and awkward) and so can culling numbers. There’s nothing worse than wishing you had your besties standing up beside you but you didn’t because of numbers. At the end of the day you won’t look back and go wow I’m glad we had two or three of each you’ll be left wishing you had your friends by your side. The same applies for adding people to make even numbers, it may work out and it may not. It can be awkward adding in people who don’t normally fit within your close group of friends or adding just to make the numbers match. Think on it for a little while and you’ll know what to do, don’t dive straight in, inviting everyone and promising spots in the bridal party! Ceremony: This is the part you really want no regrets with! Finding a celebrant that you relate to and feel comfortable is a great first step. We absolutely adored our celebrant and feel that she helped to tailor our ceremony to make it all that more personal, which brings me to my next point...don’t be afraid to mix it up! Traditionally you sign your marriage certificate at the end of the ceremony upon the advice of our marriage celebrant we signed in the middle. It gave our flower girls a chance to hand out the confetti cones and meant at the end of the ceremony she was able to pronounce us as husband and wife and we could walk straight down towards our waiting friends and family...it was awesome. Make the ceremony what you want, make it about the two of you. If you don’t want to stand up and say your vows in front of a group of people...elope and just have an after party! Make promises you intend to keep. This is the first day of your Life together as husband and wife, husband and husband or wife and wife. So enjoy it. Make it personal. Have fun and relax! Hopefully this has been helpful, there are many more topics that I could have covered but I think that is enough for now haha
let me know in the comments if you would like to hear more or you have something to add! Happy wedding planning!
