Firstly I'd like to start this post by saying I am NOT an expert. I have not had PND and to be fair I haven't even done a lot of reading about it.
This post is based around supporting friends with PND and trying to rid the stigma that is attached by speaking out, and allowing a safe space for mamas to share their stories.
I was one of the lucky ones. I did not end up with PND. I say lucky ones because it really is the luck of the draw. People don't wake up one day and decide to have a baby, and give themselves PND. It's not a choice. It's not something they do or don't do. It's not specific to age, weight, height, hair colour or race. It's also not specific to any sort of social circle. Celebrities have PND, mums who work and mums who don't, Mothers, sisters, aunties and friends, IT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE.
Motherhood is hard at the best of times. Your body goes through some insane changes and has hormones racing around your body, add in PND and thats a whole new level.
I totally solute mums who suffer through PND and are fighting to get better. Not only are you raising a child but you are also fighting a massive battle in your head. One that is not visible to others. Mums who suffer with PND don't walk around with a cast on the leg or a big open wound covered in bandages. It's something we can't see. A silent fight not visible to the world.
They (not everyone- I realise it is different for each individual) sit behind closed doors with tears streaming down their cheeks.
Why is there such a stigma attached to something that can not be helped?
It is an illness. Mamas don't choose this.
This post is for you mamas who are suffering in silence. The ones who feel that something is wrong but don't know what to do. The ones who are afraid of judgement and fear.
Please don't be afraid. You didn't choose this. You can beat it. You are a Queen.
Recently I have had two friends confide in me that they believe they are suffering PND (within the space of a couple of days of each other).
This was a shock to me. Two mamas. Two beautiful friends who I see and talk to often and I had no idea. How did I not see any signs?
Well this is the horrible thing and an awful truth in humanity. There is such a stigma attached to PND that some of these beautiful mamas tried to hide it from the world. They suffered in silence, behind closed doors, all for fear of judgment. It breaks my heart.
There is no judgement here. If you are a friend or a stranger reading this, feel free to reach out. If you have no one to chat to or if you're having a bad day, drop me a line. Im here.
I am not an expert so the first thing I will do is not try to help. Yes you read that right. I won't try to help, or cure your PND.
What I will do is listen.
I will listen with an open mind and heart.
I care.
I am not an expert and suggesting you go for a run or try wake up with a smile on your face each day is not going to help you, but I am hoping that listening will. Being someone you can rely on. Someone you can chat to. Someone who will celebrate the small wins and someone who will listen when you've just had a really shit day.
I will listen.
I can't cure or fix anything, as that is a job for the professionals, but I will listen and I do care.
If you need to chat, Im here.
If you need to sit in silence with someone, Im here.
Heck if you just need a bloody big glass of wine and want someone to join you, I am here.
Ladies if your friends reach out, please don't try to fix them. Listen.
Listen with an open heart and mind.
Dont judge.
Offer to go to the doctors with them as support, or look after their children while they go alone.
Surround your friends with love and support.
Listen.
To all your mamas fighting this ugly fight - You've got this.
Reach out to your friends/family and surround yourself with Queens.
We love you and we are here for you.
xx
